your sexual freedom comes with a price.

i hear a lot of women and girls in their late teens and early twenties carry on about the number of men they sleep with at a particular time.

how they are always getting it and how everyone just wants them.  and how awesome it is.  how it’s more than just one person. how they are okay with a poly amorous lifestyle blah blah blah.

now, if youve read any of my blog you know im practicing this “dont be so quick to judge what ye have already done and dont do anymore” bullshit and i really am. so i will just call this my advice to young women and girls.  hell maybe even some of yall old heffas too.

you are not leading a new sexual revolution by fucking everything that hits on you.  hopping on two, three, four or five magic sticks a week is not you expressing your sexual prowess and oozing self confidence.  it’s saying you dont love yourself, you may not even like yourself and you damn sure are far from confident.  confidence comes from someplace other than the bedroom, the floor or however it is you score.

At a young age i felt i was doing something different by having MANY different partners and felt like i was something special that i could call up any number of people to come over and do our little thing.  I felt this way for quite sometime and now I couldnt tell you how many partners Ive had.  I just know that I am VERY lucky I do not have any VD, was only pregnant three times and was only raped once.

Yeah, only raped once. I feel lucky about that. And deep down I carry guilt for even being raped just once.  I mean, I allowed the two guys to have sex with me. But when things went further than what i wanted and the one wanted to perform an act i didnt want to have done it was done anyways while the other cheered him on. but that confident woman i was and the sexual revolution i was leading said to me that i kinda asked for it anyways and chalk it up to the game.

I find it hard to believe that we as women are really feeling fulfilled fucking every good looking man that we can.

I wasnt ever happy in my “relationships” where I fucked with so and so one day and someone else the next and him the next night.  I had the one person I wanted to be with but he didnt want me like that. And then Id meet the next person who might be it, but he wasnt it either.  I just dont think a “good relationship” can be built if youre in “relationships” with other people.

Im sure i sound like a book i wouldve hated reading a few years ago.  I sound like a mom.  eeew.

and i feel like im rambling a bit.  basically, i just think constant sexual talk and constant flaunting of promiscuity is really just a front of confidence.  i refuse to believe that we as women need to be a walking, talking xxx ad all the time. it’s gross and im sad i acted that way ever.

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