We knew each other for a while and in our stolen moments we shared the details that had to be barely spoken of. I probably will never be able to thank you for telling me to run. I see pictures of you and I remember how scared I was for you at times. How scared [...]
your sexual freedom comes with a price.
i hear a lot of women and girls in their late teens and early twenties carry on about the number of men they sleep with at a particular time. how they are always getting it and how everyone just wants them. and how awesome it is. how it’s more than just one person. how they [...]
it’s the first of the month
i can hardly believe that a year of my life has already passed. it’s been the longest seeming year ever and the shortest seeming year at the same time. i dont know if that quite makes sense. i think im going to resolve that my new year starts every year on june 1st. i can [...]
hoes and housewives
before i made the transition from a pale blonde flat chested, gapped toothed cute little girl into a young woman my sexuality was already compromised in a way that shaped it and still shapes it today. i hadn’t ever really thought about it. it’s one of those things that you dont know is wrong at [...]
family
easter sunday. april twelth. last year on this day amari’s father was arrested on outstanding warrants in a routine traffic stop. it really wasnt routine though. we were on our way to his brothers house at 2am in need of a place to crash for the night because my car wasnt comfortable for the two [...]
daddy complex
“if you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.” –abraham sutzkever (per my lil motivational calendar my eight year old brother got me) it’s funny, i looked at this quote on my calendar on today’s page right before leaving to go to my counseling session. and somehow i knew the topic of my [...]
why i fucking hate you 3/19/07
i hate you because i only let you see a piece of me at a time. and if youve seen many pieces and try to play me because you see a weakness i really fucking hate you. you are so busy trying to decode the inner workings of me, you miss the bigger picture and [...]
love, eighteen year old style
you know how alarms go off in your whole body telling you get away, dont do it, he is NOT good for you. at first i heeded the alarm. and then fell into oh he isnt that bad. he was 20 and i was 17. my best friends older brother. 2 duis at age 20 [...]
it all started way back…
i seriously think i was born crazy. the kind of crazy that doesnt have me trying to bite my ears off or anything but just nuts. or maybe born into craziness is more like it. my mom had me at 18, fresh out of highschool and though her and my sperm donor were married, it [...]
white girl not of caucasian descent
cocaine, yola, soft, piff… ive been in love with this bitch for the last 8 years of my life. we have a great relationship when we see each other on a limited basis, but i seek her out like a sick woman who goes back to the man who beats her day after day. i [...]
